Friday, December 28, 2007

Put them in the FUNNEL

For discipline, I have tried time out (many times), spanking, yelling, moving a child, removal of toys, playing referee for the children's arguments.

Why so many things? Well, time out works for a few minutes (while they are in TO), spanking (in general to me) seems to break their spirit, yelling breaks hearts, moving a child myself isn't teaching they have responsibility for their actions, taking away toys - oh my kids thank me for that - they say, "oh thank you mom, we had too many toys!"; playing referee I have learned makes me the bad guy and I end up the loser every single time (it can created unity among children as they gang up on you :O)).

For time sake, I will bullet one thing a day that we use now:

  • Appropriate boundaries. We set boundaries like a funnel with the small side down (see picture). Imagine at the smallest part of the funnel is age 1 and the largest part of the funnel, age 16-18. The boundaries start off tight (small) and increase as mature. For example, if you allow the 1 year old to play with the remote control, it's cute, but they don't have the maturity to properly use it...so use of the remote would come when they can use it properly.
Sound tough? It's not. I have seen 2 year old with no boundaries. There are baby gates up all over the house to protect what they aren't mature enough to touch, but when the gates come down, they don't know how to be around things that they can't touch.

Age appropriate boundaries make you and your children welcome most anywhere.

Check in tomorrow to see how we make enforce boundaries and how we celebrate increased boundaries.

1 comment:

shanna said...

That sounds like a great idea. We have 3 boys and we spank, use time out, we take away privlages from our oldest son, squirt vinagar in their mouth for talking ugly to each other. It looks different every day. God knows our boys way better than me so I try to have a heart posture of letting Him lead me in each situation. When I know I have handled a situation wrongly I immediately humble myself before them and ask them to forgive me and pray for me. Consistently disciplining in a way that God leads and your children respond to I think is key. Can't wait to read your upcoming posts!