I use to think that I loved my husband unconditionally because I was determined we wouldn't get a divorce (I had already failed at marriage and was determined to NOT do it again).
About every 6 months, I would start to feel a little less appreciated - not enough phone calls, notes, date nights, etc. I would throw a little temper-tantrum. After a couple of days, we would be back on track....until 6 more months went by.
It seemed like these every 6 months incidents started building on each other. I started feeling a little resentment toward my husband. All of a sudden, I realized that I was allowing a little crack in our marriage - just a small simple crack that seemed like no big deal, BUT I began to realize that it could lead to BIG problems in our marriage if not addressed.
I evaluated my behavior and found it to be impeccable (of course) - I was a great wife and did nothing wrong. I proceeded to go over my husband's behavior and found everything wrong - he didn't help with the kids, the trash, he did phone, leave notes, open the door for me or make me feel special in anyway.
I was driving one day just praying asking God to give me the desires of my heart - a great husband that loved me as much as I loved him (oh, and did I mention - as perfect as I was to him). God whispered in my Spirit "You love him for his WORKS, not because He is my child and He is a gift to YOU from ME Sheri! You count his value in your marriage based on his contribution, not on WHO he is as my Son. You ask him to meet your needs instead of allowing me to meet your needs. You have loved with infatuation and with a hardened heart! I blessed you with this man and when you start loving Him because He is a gift, you will have the desires of your heart"...
Ouch...I guess I am not that perfect...
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
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