Put them in the FUNNEL

For discipline, I have tried time out (many times), spanking, yelling, moving a child, removal of toys, playing referee for the children's arguments.

Why so many things? Well, time out works for a few minutes (while they are in TO), spanking (in general to me) seems to break their spirit, yelling breaks hearts, moving a child myself isn't teaching they have responsibility for their actions, taking away toys - oh my kids thank me for that - they say, "oh thank you mom, we had too many toys!"; playing referee I have learned makes me the bad guy and I end up the loser every single time (it can created unity among children as they gang up on you :O)).

For time sake, I will bullet one thing a day that we use now:

• Appropriate boundaries. We set boundaries like a funnel with the small side down (see picture). Imagine at the smallest part of the funnel is age 1 and the largest part of the funnel, age 16-18. The boundaries start off tight (small) and increase as mature. For example, if you allow the 1 year old to play with the remote control, it's cute, but they don't have the maturity to properly use it...so use of the remote would come when they can use it properly.

Sound tough? It's not. I have seen 2 year old with no boundaries. There are baby gates up all over the house to protect what they aren't mature enough to touch, but when the gates come down, they don't know how to be around things that they can't touch.

Age appropriate boundaries make you and your children welcome most anywhere.

Check in tomorrow to see how we make enforce boundaries and how we celebrate increased boundaries.

"Get the Belt!"

When I got in trouble when I was growing up, I would here, "get the belt!" I hated those words - it was like fingernails of a chalkboard...................

My family is young (8, 6, 3). I wanted to raise them differently than I was raised. I read so many books, took parenting classes, searched the bible, went to a family vision workshop (http://www.familyvisionnow.com/) asked friends, family, etc. Some things I filed in "what NOT to do," while others, "what to try."

I wanted kids who didn't fight...what? is that possible? Yes, I would say you can pretty closely achieve it. I also wanted alot of laughter and JOY in my family.

In the coming days, I am going to share some of my favorite parenting tools and books for your library. In the meantime, check out the Family Vision workshop dates near YOU!

changes...

we have been homeschooling since May of this year. Just today, we realized the changes we have seen.

Last year, 1st grade, the days were so long - our girls would fight after school and be grumpy....this year we see joy, unity, encouragerment, peace and SO much LOVE for one another!

i am so thankful for the changes in our family!

sickness....from a 3 year old

I have been battling some sickness for 3 months. I go to the Doctor and have all the symptoms of an illness, but all the tests say "negative." I have been asking God, "what are you teaching me through this."

My 3 year old said, "mommy, you remember when I was sick?"

Mom, "yes...I remember that when we asked if you were sick, you said, "No, I am healed...stop saying that!"" (can you do double quotes?)

3 year old, "yes mommy...sometimes I may feel sick, but I am already healed in the Lord."
God truly is a gentle whisper through this little girl. Yes, God - I may feel sick, but I am already healed in YOU!

Home schooling momma

Check out Robin's blog today on having a vision for our children.
http://manymeadows.blogspot.com/2007/11/you-may-be-home-educator-if.html

Are you a homeschooler?

Who said homeschooling was easy?

I remember the day that I would dream of when ALL my children would be in school...I told my husband that I would LOVE being a stay-at home mom then! I would run all my errands, clean the house, have food for everyone...and do all the things I have always wanted to do! :O)

One year into school (with still 2 little ones at home), we are called to homeschool. I told my husband, you are going to have to make this decision because I was skewed by my vision of "me time!"

He made the decision and I am a homeschooler - I don't have much time to run errands, put away the laundry or do all the things I dreamed of...Instead I

Get to - love on my children all day long, I get the best part of their day, I get every teachable moment (if I am paying attention!), I get to cuddle on the couch with a book (and sometimes in my PJ's!), I get hugs and kisses all day long. I don't get the leftovers anymore!

I am so grateful to get this time with these GIFTS from God! I let the laundry pile, the dishes pile, and all the stuff can just wait...I am sure there will be plenty of time to catch up when they are gone. :O)

Loving it!

Teach Them MY ways...

My first year of homeschooling.....and we are working about 2.5 hours every day learning and growing together. I believe that my girl is getting educated far beyond what she would be in school mostly because of the one-on-one time, BUT...

I just feel in my spirit that something is wrong. I just know that I should spend more time teaching her the word of God than geography, grammar, math, etc....especially now (young).

Joshua 1:8 says, "8This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success."

I know I can teach her through the Bible, but I just don't know how.... all I know is, He is telling me to "teach them My ways."

What God thinks about you!

CONTRARY TO POPULAR (RELIGIOUS) OPINION

1. You don’t have to keep asking for forgiveness.
· God doesn’t forgive you a little at a time.
· Christ’s death paid for all your sins (past, present, future).
· Sin can never separate you again from God.

2. Your behavior does not affect how God feels about you.
· There is nothing you can do to cause God to love you more or less than He already does.
· God is never disappointed with you.
· God’s blessings cannot be earned.

3. You don’t have two natures (old you vs. new you).
· You’ve been given an extreme makeover on the inside (you have a new heart and spirit that are good).
· You possess God’s DNA (Divine Nature from Above)
· You are an asset to God, not a liability.

4. Becoming a Christ follower is not about your performance for God.
· God isn’t interested in self-improvement.
· God didn’t save you to serve Him.
· What God wants most is you!

5. Fully devoted followers of Christ don’t live by the rules.
· It’s not just hard to live the Christian life, it’s impossible.
· Christ gave His life for you so He could live through you.
· Your part is to live by faith and trust Christ who lives in you, to live through you, as you. (Galatians 2:20)

Mom

As most of you know, I lost my mom to cancer on Feb. 6, 2006. She would have been 60 years old this week - September 26th. Birthdays were a big deal in our family. My mom especially loved her birthday!

When my daughter (who just turned 8 this month) was born, I asked my mom, "did you ever love me this much?" She told me, "I still do!" I couldn't understand why I didn't feel that magnitude of love. The last 2 weeks of her life, I would hold her hand and whisper "I love you" and she responded with "I love you more than you will ever know." Until you have children, it is almost impossible to imagine how much a mother loves!

I miss my mom so much! I miss having family dinners, game night and birthday celebrations, long and short phone chats and buying birthday presents.

I pray today that you will love on your family and others in a big way - without regret! The greatest commandment is LOVE.

Love in Christ, Sheri

Field Trip #1

Homeschool is COOL! I got to take all my kids (during school hours) to Braum's (a dairy here in OK).

After seeing their plant and understanding production, I don't even know how anyone else can sell milk in the state of Oklahoma!

Check it out! http://braums.com/

Faith of a Child (Part 1 or 2)

My 5 year old is trying to read her whole bible. We have finished the OT and are in the NT (pretty early on). She begs to read her bible. This is her 4th children's bible, but this one is the biggest one yet (more words and pictures than ever).

Recently, I was reading to her about when Jesus sat on a hill and taught all the people. It was so crowded that He had to sit in a boat. She stopped me and with a joyful, sincerely loving heart said, "mommy, I just wish I could have lived in the time that Jesus walked on the earth. I want to sit with Him, listen to Him and just be with Him all the time!"

To be continued....

Failure

when you homeschool, you need to wake up and homeschool. Today, I was just so tired and a little grumpy (who me? yes, me). my daughter was doing everything the opposite of what i directed. we both cried and took a nap!

Now that was successful day! :O)

Homeschooling 101

Who would have thought that this manager with a big public accounting firm (lost as I could be) would be found by the Lord, blessed with children after unsuccessful marriage attempts and now find myself HOMESCHOOLING my children!??

Everyone at my firm thought that I would stay and make partner I was so motivated, but what they didn't know was that I got my value from my work! I was so insecure, but I had perseverance and determination! This made me great at work! However, I was just as insecure as ever and empty on the inside!

Once God got my heart, I was forever changed - Inside Out! It wasn't overnight - it is a continuous journey!

This is our first year to homeschool - our 2nd grader! What have I learned so far? I have learned to just take every opportunity to HUG and ENCOURAGE my children BY name! The love in our family is overflowing! Praise God for this time to build them up in HIM and HIS word!

Of course I love my husband? (Part 1)

I use to think that I loved my husband unconditionally because I was determined we wouldn't get a divorce (I had already failed at marriage and was determined to NOT do it again).

About every 6 months, I would start to feel a little less appreciated - not enough phone calls, notes, date nights, etc. I would throw a little temper-tantrum. After a couple of days, we would be back on track....until 6 more months went by.

It seemed like these every 6 months incidents started building on each other. I started feeling a little resentment toward my husband. All of a sudden, I realized that I was allowing a little crack in our marriage - just a small simple crack that seemed like no big deal, BUT I began to realize that it could lead to BIG problems in our marriage if not addressed.

I evaluated my behavior and found it to be impeccable (of course) - I was a great wife and did nothing wrong. I proceeded to go over my husband's behavior and found everything wrong - he didn't help with the kids, the trash, he did phone, leave notes, open the door for me or make me feel special in anyway.

I was driving one day just praying asking God to give me the desires of my heart - a great husband that loved me as much as I loved him (oh, and did I mention - as perfect as I was to him). God whispered in my Spirit "You love him for his WORKS, not because He is my child and He is a gift to YOU from ME Sheri! You count his value in your marriage based on his contribution, not on WHO he is as my Son. You ask him to meet your needs instead of allowing me to meet your needs. You have loved with infatuation and with a hardened heart! I blessed you with this man and when you start loving Him because He is a gift, you will have the desires of your heart"...

Ouch...I guess I am not that perfect...

What is Homeschooling?

I went to the homeschool convention. There was a great speaker there and more materials for homeschooling than you can imagine! It was like a candy store to many. I couldn't find the snacks, however. I found many meals - homeschool material that had agenda, worksheet, timeline, agenda, etc. until I started to realize "I can’t (and don’t want to) keep up with all these agendas and GRADE every paper!" What? I am a pretty GO with the flow girl. I keep agendas in my head, not on paper (well, that was a fact in my youth and God is renewing my youth today!).

We did purchase 2 things – 1) a CD of songs about history and 2) some history cards from creation to present day. The first day, I realized that I know nothing about history.

Just from listening to this CD, my children started asking me questions like, "Mommy, why did the church split in 1054? Did the people not love Jesus or each other?" I had no idea! We started looking up why the church split in 1054. We also went into the bible when Paul, Mark and Barnabas split up and went separate ways and how God used that disagreement to expand HIS kingdom! (Acts 15)

I had a light bulb moment! I think I might be getting this homeschool idea. It may not be about worksheets and agenda (getting the work done) as much as it is about having a hunger to learn and a great relationship with the Teacher (HIM!).

What do you think? Comments adored!

Lessons from the Lord

Our daughter has always been an amazing artist since she was 3 years old. She has always loved art and wanted to be an artist when she grows up. Today two friends at school broke her heart when they laughed at and made fun of her part of a group drawing. We all learned a few important lessons from the Holy Spirit as we walked through this as a family.

First, when someone shares their opinion about you or your actions, those comments are just opinions. An opinion is a view, estimation, belief, judgment or an outlook. Since it is someone else’s belief, it is not a fact. Since the beliefs and views of others are not from God and cannot be confirmed in God’s Word, it is not Truth. Since it is not a fact and not Truth we know it can be disregarded…as trash.

Secondly, we learned that if we do believe in, trust in and rely on the views and opinions good or bad of others that we are denying the Truth of what God says about us. We have to know what God says about us in order to know the difference between Truth and trash.

Third, we discovered that when others say things that in any way destroy us (trash) we know that it is not from God. We know that God came to give life and life more abundantly. Things that destroy are an attack from the enemy. We know that when we see others that are being used by the enemy that they are under some sort of attack. We can see the effects of the spiritual battle they are under. We know that Jesus Christ already crushed the enemy. We know we have authority to call on his name to destroy the enemy. We know that we should be in prayer to defeat the enemies attack on the people we know and love. If we don’t, who will?

These are just a few sweet lessons God brought us as He continues to show us how He can bring about Good in all things. We love you Lord. ty (my husband)

Never Thought I'd.... HOMESCHOOL?

I never thought I would say this....

I was a manager for a public accounting firm...on my way to partner. After my first child, I started realizing there was more to live for then my work and money! I never thought I would say that. I was important. I didn't even have time to talk to my friends I was so busy.

My daughter was 6 months old when I resigned to take a PART-TIME job as a consultant. One year from my anniversary date, I was a STAY-AT-HOME MOM...Did I mention, pregnant with baby #2?!

My oldest is now in the 1st grade and I cannot believe my lips...we are going to HOMESCHOOL her for 2nd grade. What happened to me?

I was on my UP way in a big firm! I was important! I partied with the best. I love to dance, go out, be social and have a great time with the rest of them. Murphy's Law was my friend - it followed me everywhere. Complaining was the start of my every week - "Oh man, its Monday again!" "I hate Monday's!" "Thank God it's Friday!" "You know 2 things have gone wrong and I am just waiting on the 3rd to hit me between the eyes!" "If something bad could happen, it will happen to me!" These were just a few of my daily phrases.

I was saved in 1997. I finally gave up trying to control my own life (so I thought) and I told God that I am not capable or worthy...I keep messing it up...now I give it to you - the mess of my life that I have made...it's yours!

Have you ever been to one of those Christmas parties where you exchange gifts that you had previously been given from someone else (the BAD gifts)...I left a party once with a plastic gold framed mirror! Well my life was one of those gold mirrors..."God just take it - get it out of my hands - I feel obligated to use it, but I just so don't want it anymore and I will feel better if you can get some use out of it!"

In 2000, my first bible study, I realized something from reading Matthew, everything that I thought was good about me stunk! What, did I read that right? Surely not! Yep, I read that right - all the things I thought I did pretty good, well according to the bible, I stunk it all up a pretty good one!

This was day one to my new attitude on life. Before I knew it, Murphy’s Law wasn’t following me every single day. The very next year, I realized that my mess that I had given over to the Lord was actually a gift that He lived to get! That GOLD mirror I thought was trash was cherished by someone after all!!

People would talk about me or say things like, “you are a dork...” or they would talk about me behind my back, “you know she’s divorced and I heard….” I was that gold mirror, but God gave His life for me and I finally received forgiveness for my sins! He turned an ugly, plastic mirror into authentic gold.

I stopped getting my value from what I did (work, serve, help others, etc.)! I started getting my value from my Father. Murphy’s Law finally disappeared.

One day I woke up and just realized that I wanted my kids to learn about God NOW – while they are young and I am the apple of their eye. I wanted to be the one raising them and influencing their choices and keeping them under my umbrella of protection, not the schools.

I love the school…don’t get me wrong. I love the Christian school and the teachers that we attend. However, one day, I realized that they were getting the best of my little/big girl and I was getting her exhaustion and her leftovers – weekends were not enough!

I am very selfish with my time…I like babysitters and time out to lunch with a friend so home schooling was a hard decision to make. I thought, “I will lose ME time.” I finally confessed to my husband that he was going to have to make this decision because I was protecting ME time!

Once we made the decision to homeschool, I have not looked back. We made the final decision 30 days ago and I cannot wait! I don’t know how long we will do it! I just can’t wait to have the best part of my gifts from God every single day to teach them about Him and not miss out on so many teachable moments.

So….I am off – my first year of homeschooling. Pray for me (Eph. 1:17) and I will keep you posted!